The Music Never Stopped free essay sample

Father and son relationships are very complicated and many aspects are well documented in books, poems, and film. As the father of two young sons, four and two, I was deeply affected by the film â€Å"The Music Never Stopped,† directed by Jim Kohlberg. I had the privilege of viewing this film at the Sundance Film Festival in 2011. This is the first film I have seen in my adult life that caused me to weep openly several times. I connected with the struggle of this father as he dealt with a devastating brain injury to his estranged son. The film covered three common themes in father and son relationships. Rebellion, guilt, and acceptance are woven throughout the film. Each theme reminded me, as the father of two boys, I will have to deal with all of these issues in the future. I hope I handle things better than the father, Henry Sawyer, did in the film. We will write a custom essay sample on The Music Never Stopped or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page The film starts in the late sixties when the son, Gabriel Sawyer, attends a high school anti -war rally in which an American flag is burned. Henry Sawyer, a Korean War Veteran, is deeply insulted by this show of disrespect.He feels his son has embarrassed him with this show of rebellion against everything the father believes in. Instead of trying to understand his son’s point of view and feelings on the matter, he lashes out at him causing a verbal and physical altercation. Henry cannot believe that his own son could be so different from himself, when in fact this is very common during the teenage years. His angry rejection drove his son to leave the home, never to return. I promised myself I would not let my pride come before my relationship with my own boys.The lesson I learned is that rebellion is a part of growing up and is not direct reflection of my parenting skills. Guilt ridden, twenty years later, Henry is contacted by a hospital and told his estranged son has suffered a brain injury leaving him gravely disabled. Henry is now faced with the task of getting to know his son again and dealing with his feelings of guilt. He feels he is at fault for the life his son led and also indirectly to blame for his injury. These feelings make it very difficult for him to try and care for his son because of the constant reminder.He feels now that he failed his son by forcing him from the home. If only he could have reacted in a different manner all those years ago this would have never happened. Even though my boys are young, I have feelings of guilt. I question how I react to situations. Was I too hard on them? As a parent I don’t think these feelings ever go away completely. I learned that you should never push your kids so hard they never come back. To help Gabriel recover Henry employs the help of a music therapist. Dr.Daley discovers that Gabriel cannot remember the last twenty years of his life unless he is listening to music he likes. Through music Gabriel and his father reconnect. His father learns to accept Gabriel for who he is by embracing his music, which is not what Henry normally listens to. Henry buys every album from the sixties and seventies he can find and listens to them day and night. He memorizes the words and uses them as a tool to jog Gabriel’s memory. Henry begins to enjoy the music his son likes and they bond over this.Once Henry accepts the music he begins to enjoy it himself and finds common ground with his son. Gabriel especially likes The Grateful Dead. The movie finishes with father and son attending a Grateful Dead concert together. Henry has longed for this shared experience for many years and it was a moment he would never forget. Accepting his son’s individuality was the key to rebuilding his relationship and letting go of his guilt. In my family I hope to use shared experiences to keep my bond with my sons strong, while letting them develop as individuals.There are many pitfalls in father and son relationships. This film made me reflect on my relationship with my own father. He always met my behavior with a calm measured response that must have been very difficult. We always maintained a good relationship, which Henry could have as well if he remembered to put his son’s needs before himself. I became so emotional during the film because of my desire to be the best father I can be. I hope I can be as patient with my sons as my father was with me. WORKS CITED â€Å"The Music Never Stopped. † Dir. Jim Kohlberg.